How do you confront your own family for not inviting you or leaving you out of things?

My husband’s family (step-family) has non-included us for several holidays in the past 3+ years. Covid was part of it, but not all. I’ve written of it elsewhere. My FIL, thinking we were included, told me all about Aunt Linda’s coming 80th BD party, but i freaked. Because we haven’t been included for several things, and he keeps talking as if we are coming. I contacted a SIL. She informed me a cousin was sending out invites. No, we never got one.

2018 (I’m on the left, behind my husband. We are certainly part of the group, aren’t we!)

Each year i’ve found it harder and harder. Because of some recent circumstances (longer story), i realized that i can’t imagine inviting any one of those women to go out to lunch with me. Not one. The idea is painful. I can’t think of trying to make conversation with them. I don’t want to talk about myself. The thought of that is really uncomfortable. I can’t think of what to ask them to make conversation. We simply have too many years of me trying to draw them out, only to be rebuffed.

Has anyone ever participated in a gang bang and what was it like?

My ILs used to attend, but my MIL isn’t doing well these days and they don’t come anymore. This holiday had been very important to my FIL and my husband. I think it still important to my husband to be there.

It had always been the tradition to go to an Uncle’s house for a big potluck in the past. After being specifically excluded for two years, we were asked last year (2023). There is no “confront” about it. Their house = their rules, their choices. (I accept this, no problem with that.)

So, my question: How can i possibly manage the Thanksgiving holiday meal with these people? Why am i spending time with them at a holiday when i can’t even imagine a half hour/forty-five minute lunch? (Well, because it means so much to my dearly loved husband.) It is still very important to my husband to have (at least minimal) contact with them.

How did you get to be a leftist?

This isn’t exactly an answer.

Any suggestions on how to get through it? (Thank you in advance.)

Knowing how painful past years have been, but i used to be able to turn a blind eye to it, to brush it off. It bothered me. I got past it, somehow, though. I enjoy people watching, so for several years that is what i did. I am finding that people watching folks who ignore me at best, and possibly actively dislike me, is not a fun past time. This year i’m not sure i can just be a lump somewhere. It is a miserable day. I suppose i can ignore everyone and sit in a corner with a book.

The International Boxing Association said that Khelif and Lin competing in Paris Olympics were disqualified from the tournament for testing positive for XY chromosomes which give an unfair advantage in the women’s division. What do you think?

Last Thanksgiving, after being asked not to come the previous 2 years, some things were even more clear to me. I found myself less able to overlook previous snubs. Also, my sister used to live nearby and come. It gave me someone to talk to. Missing her, her unavailability, made it quite a tedious, unpleasant day. I’d sit down, try to start a conversation with a SIL, aunt, or cousin. The person might answer with a word or two, then would get up and walk away, not to return. When i’d offer to help, i’d be told they didn’t need anything. If i brought food, they wouldn’t eat it. I ended up just kind of sitting in a corner. But my sister was usually (not always) there in the past. That made it bearable.